<-- My new building [ from housing.gmu.edu]
Tonight I moved into my new apartment. True, it's on-campus housing, thereby draining the previous statement of much of its potential coolness, but I'm glad. I have a good feeling about this one.
The feeling was an noticeable shift in mood, from anxiety to comfort, increasing the closer I got to stepping across the threshold. Once all of the boxes were packed and ready to go, the stress of an uncontrollable mess quietly melted away in the ease and familiarity of loading a friend's car. Checking into the room and getting my keys was a friendly, personable encounter with the RA staff hanging out in the office. Even the physical act of walking from one end of campus where my previous room was to the old, worn-down, relaxed student apartments made me feel warm inside, a growing sense of confidence that I am going to do just fine.
Today I officially stopped being an RA (with the exception of a potential pay check-- I should ask my former boss about that). Today my former co-worker turned off the access that allowed me to go practically wherever I wanted to go in my old housing area. Today I leave behind a place that wasn't bad--that was full of wonderful, talented, kind and hilarious people, actually. But it was a place I was called away from, a place I was ready to leave. While it would have been nice to continue being an RA there, it's better to give someone else a shot.
Like all transitions, I'm not guaranteed a blank slate; I still have to deal with the issues that emerged last semester around physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. I look forward to not being tired all the time, but I'm aware that resisting the repetition of that and other patterns will require more than a change of location. I'm not sure exactly what I need. But now I have some time to find out. Starting out with such an encouraging feeling seems like a good indicator that I will.
If you're a prayer, pray for me. If you're a thinker, hold me in your thoughts. And if you've found yourself in situations of recovering from draining experiences and you have some insight, please feel free to let me know what you think.
Walking in the Ruins
5 weeks ago